January felt... long. There was no shortage of momentous events and there's been a lot to process both politically and personally.

The month kicked off with a disturbing display of entitlement and violence at the US capitol building, but that same day also marked a huge win in Georgia with the runoff elections flipping the Senate to a Democratic majority. It's worth taking a moment to recognize that this was not luck -- it was the result of hard work, organization and swift action. One group chose to get hung up on the past, fighting to try to stop the inevitable, while the other immediately turned their attention to preparing for the future. To me, it was a powerful example of the impact of small steps, focused action and looking ahead. As Amanda Gorman said in her inaugural poem,

We will not march back to what was
but move to what shall be.

I'm ready to look ahead with hope.

After wrapping a bunch of projects in December I finally had some space to explore new ideas in January, but I've been finding it hard to gain momentum. The ideas are still there simmering, but the motivation to act on them has been lacking. I've realized that the routines and habits that served me well in the beginning of quarantine and kept me on track me throughout 2020 have begun to feel stifling.

"Know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em"

In early January, this phrase appeared to me three times in 24 hours. The first time it was mentioned in a phone call, and I didn't think much of it. A few hours later it was said in a television show, and I thought "what a funny coincidence". The next morning, I opened a book at random to to find it written in bold letters, the title of a chapter. Now it really had my attention.

A quote above the title read "Doing more of what doesn't work won't make it work any better" and it sparked a time of introspection and larger questions as I entered the new year. What am I doing that is no longer working for me? What am I holding on to that it's time to let go of?

I've spent a lot of time this past month examining my habits, routines and creative beliefs. The non-stop work and strict schedules that kept me on track throughout last year aren't sparking the motivation I need to move forward into 2021. As such, I'm trying to disrupt my routine and build more time for exploration into my creative practice, for getting inspired and making things that don't necessarily feel cohesive or have a "purpose".

Time for me to say goodbye to the past -- to 2020, to the former administration, to old habits and beliefs -- and "move to what shall be"...