Well, I wrote this post yesterday and since then here in the US we've experienced an attempted coup, as well as a historic win in our Georgia Senate runoffs. This 2020 hangover looks like it's going to last at least a couple more weeks. Since I don't have the energy to completely re-write this (and as it's meant to be a December recap) please bear with me. I'll need some time to process everything that's just taken place and get back to you in my January newsletter later this month...
This email marks an entire year of consistent writing, and it could be the first New Years resolution I've managed to keep going for a full 12 months. Last January when I sent my first newsletter, the world looked very different in so many ways, and I closed that newsletter by saying, "If January is any indication, 2020 is going to be filled with new work and big ideas, and I can't wait to share it all with you." As it turns out, January was an extremely poor indication of anything that I would experience in 2020 except for new work and big ideas, which I have indeed continued to share with you, despite everything.
December began in a complete whirlwind, trying to wrap up the year so I could take my first real break from work in 12 months, and ended in complete sloth, trying to gear myself up for going back to work. This was my first time spending the holidays in Los Angeles, or anywhere away from my family and our annual traditions on the East Coast for that matter. It was certainly a different experience trying to get into the Christmas spirit in 70 degree weather surrounded by palm trees, but a tiny fir tree, Christmas music and a visit from my sister eventually did the trick.
I love the beginning of a new year, and the opportunity it brings to reflect on the past 12 months and to dream around all the possibilities for what's to come. It's a chance to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Here are a few of the biggest lessons I learned in 2020:
People are extremely resilient. Despite the ups and downs of 2020 and the overall fog of uncertainty, sadness and stress we've all felt, people all across the world continued on, made music, created art, supported one another, and accomplished some amazing things. The way that (the majority of) adults and children have adapted gracefully to mask wearing, canceled plans, stay at home orders with ever-changing rules, new ways of working, going to school, ordering food, supporting local businesses, connecting with others, etc... is truly incredible. Though we're still in the thick of it, I think we should take a moment to acknowledge our collective resilience and adaptability.
Everyone handles stress and grief differently. This year was difficult for everyone, and it showed me (on a national and global scale) how different people react to stress and grief. I found that I channeled my stress about things outside my control, into my work -- the routine and clear "to dos" was comforting. As a result, a got a ton accomplished, but I also experienced burnout, and didn't do a great job at building balance and self-care into my life. This is something I'd like to do better in the new year.
When you remove the distractions, things become clear (sometimes painfully so). This past year, thanks to Covid, there were significantly fewer ways to numb and distract ourselves from the reality of our lives. It shone an uncomfortable spotlight on all sorts of areas that we don't always like to engage with. Whether that is our past choices, our current relationships, our work, our habits, our society or government -- there were no distractions from the reality of ourselves and our world. It allowed me to examine the habits I've gotten into, examine the ways I have yet to grow, and take a harsh look at the country that I live in. It also taught me to look at my own ambitions and dreams for my creative pursuits in a new light. The exploration of what this means for my work is something I will be continuing into the new year.
We experience the beauty and the horror of life at the same time. If there's anything this year has taught me it's just how complex, messy, beautiful, ugly, sad and joyful life is -- all at once. It makes me think of Neils Bohr's quote about quantum mechanics that "The opposite of a profound truth may very well be another profound truth", and while I'm not sure he meant it in this same way, I find this to sum up 2020 for me. This year was awful. This year was also wonderful. Both are profoundly true, which makes it very hard to know how to feel at any given time. This year was like a sandwich, comprised of layers of experience -- anxiety, anguish, grief, hard work, joy, delight and beauty. Not in phases, just all of these things, all at once, every day, in every bite. How do we engage with these conflicting truths at the same time? How do we hold space for all of it? It's something I'm thinking about.
Thank you for reading along this past year! With all the content we're bombarded with, I truly appreciate you taking the time to check in with this blog. I'm looking forward to sharing new work, inspiration, thoughts and dreams with you in 2021.
To a better year ahead…
xx